Why Would You Get Canceled on the Internet?

1. A controversial tweet goes viral. You...

• Mute the word and stay out of it. Peace is a priority.
• Read the quote retweets for 2 hours while eating snacks.
• Write a 10-part thread explaining why everyone is wrong.
• Quote tweet it with an unhinged meme to make it worse.

2. Someone digs up your old posts from 2014. They find...

• Cringe Tumblr poetry and One Direction fanfiction.
• Me complaining about high school homework.
• Extremely problematic edge-lord jokes I thought were funny.
• Nothing. I wipe my digital footprint every 6 months.

3. You are caught in a scandal. Your apology video features...

• No makeup, a gray hoodie, and lots of sighing.
• A Notes App screenshot posted to my Instagram story.
• Me gaslighting the audience into thinking it's their fault.
• I don't apologize. I drop merch about the scandal.

4. What is your most toxic online habit?

• Leaving people on 'read' for 3 weeks.
• Stalking my ex's new partner's LinkedIn.
• Arguing with strangers in the Instagram comments.
• Spreading misinformation just to see what happens.

5. Your celebrity crush gets canceled. You...

• Quietly unfollow them and pretend I never cared.
• Wait for all the facts to come out before judging.
• Defend them with my life. They did nothing wrong!
• Lead the mob to cancel them harder.

6. What kind of influencer would you hate to be?

• The crypto/finance bro telling people to wake up at 4 AM.
• The family vlogger exploiting their children.
• The overly positive 'toxic positivity' lifestyle guru.
• The drama channel that only talks about other people.

7. If you had a podcast, what would get you in trouble?

• Accidentally leaking my friends' deepest secrets.
• Interrupting the guest too much and being arrogant.
• Saying something incredibly tone-deaf about the economy.
• Swearing at the audience and storming out.

8. Ultimately, what is your downfall?

• Being too boring and fading into irrelevance.
• Being misunderstood by the masses.
• My own massive, unchecked ego.
• Going full supervillain and destroying everything on purpose.