Your Corporate Survival Persona (Gen Z Edition)

1. It's 4:59 PM on a Friday. Your boss messages you on Slack. You...

• Close my laptop immediately. My shift is over.
• Reply instantly and start working on it.
• Screenshot it, send it to my work bestie, and complain.
• Panic, cry a little, and do it poorly.

2. During a useless 2-hour Zoom meeting, what are you doing?

• Camera off, playing video games or doing laundry.
• Camera on, aggressively nodding and taking notes.
• DMing my coworkers making fun of the presenter.
• Staring blankly, contemplating my life choices.

3. How do you feel about 'Hustle Culture' and climbing the corporate ladder?

• It's a scam. I just want my paycheck and peace.
• I am the hustle. I want to be CEO by 30.
• I just want enough power so no one tells me what to do.
• I'm just trying to survive until my PTO kicks in.

4. The company announces 'mandatory fun' (Pizza party/Happy hour).

• I respectfully decline. I have boundaries.
• I go and network with the upper management.
• I go only for the free food and gossip.
• I get way too drunk and embarrass myself.

5. Your email signature looks like...

• Just my name. No titles, no nonsense.
• Name, Title, Pronouns, LinkedIn, Company Logo, Quote.
• Whatever the IT department forced me to put.
• 'Sent from my iPhone' (I haven't set one up).

6. A coworker takes credit for your idea. You...

• Don't care, as long as I don't have to do the work.
• Publicly correct them with a passive-aggressive smile.
• Tell everyone in the office how toxic they are.
• Let it happen, then vent to my therapist.

7. What's your strategy for getting a raise?

• Job-hopping every 18 months for a 20% bump.
• Creating a 10-page PowerPoint proving my ROI.
• Blackmailing them with how much I know about the company.
• Hoping they just notice my hard work (they won't).

8. How many unread emails are currently in your inbox?

• Zero. Inbox Zero is my religion.
• A few, clearly marked with color-coded flags.
• Thousands. If it's important, they'll Slack me.
• I'm too afraid to look.